I am currently doing something I've been contemplating doing for months now. I am taking a break from Facebook. It was motivated by all of the Boston bombing "coverage". Or should I say 5% reporting of facts and 95% speculation. (Way to go, 24 hour news channels--I am DONE with you). Because of Facebook, I couldn't just choose to go to sources I trust for facts on my own time, I had to see everyone's constant thoughts about it. I couldn't escape it. It was like a play by play from people who are watching a game from underwater. And all of this madness, frankly, disgusted me. So, I disconnected. I didn't have a plan or specific length of time I thought would be right to be away, I just...stepped away. It was casual. My "be back in <blank>" sign on the shop door.
In the not quite 48 hours of this fb break (yes, I'm counting), some questions and emotions have already come to the surface. Quandaries too. Like, how do I advertise to friends who read my blog that I have written another blog post??? Do I go on facebook for 30 seconds and post it or just email the link to my handful of people I know are regular readers? And how strict is this facebook fast to be?
I am a self proclaimed facebook addict. It has been a pretty regular part of my life since I started to prefer it over the dying MySpace in 2007. I liked the socialistic nature of Facebook. Everyone had the same page! It was more about the creativity of the person and less about trying to one up someone else on "style". I use this term loosely. One of my biggest pet peeves with MySpace was that you could decorate your page with this disgusting "wallpaper" that was 99% uglyasfuck and made scrolling extremely difficult. My boyfriend at the time had one of these hideous wallpaper things and it was horrible. There are reasons we didn't last.
Another thing I like about fb other than its ease of use is that it makes it really easy to stay in touch with friends who aren't in your community. That friend in high school you always wanted to know more about? Bam! Reconnecting with an ex who was a great person and recently got married? Yay! And as an actor, you meet people from all over the country, especially working at a summer rep company. Want to keep in touch with these awesome folks on a regular basis? KaBLAM Facebook!
Facebook is so integrated into our culture that it has become its own social "place". This was all in Zuck's master plan I'm sure. And I mean really--how do you make a billion dollars off a product? Make something people cannot live without.
Realizations since living without fb: I realize how much I use fb to seek approval. Even though I love sharing photos and thoughts instantly--it makes your friends feel as though they are right there with you--I can't help but feel like I'm also asking those friends to "approve" of what I'm doing. To like it. To take the time to comment on something. I start to obsess over silly questions I thought I'd worked out years ago: Am I interesting? Am I funny? Am I unique? Is this too many cat pictures? How do I stand out in all this sameness, which is one of the things I LIKED about fb in the first place?! Perhaps it's because I appreciate clever words and artfulness, that if you CAN rise above telling me that you did laundry today, you are worthy enough to be my friend. Or one I pay attention to. But WAIT, that means it's like junior high all over again but without the titty twisters and kicks in the pants. Gross!
And Jesus, seriously?!?! Am I honestly putting this much thought into stupid Facebook? If I'm going to be over-thinking a social networking site I might as well just resume the addiction, right? Well...there are some benefits. I'm NOT, constantly asking for approval. (Yes, yes, yes, you could argue that's why I write my blog. Though I honestly believe even if no one ever read it, I'd still feel good. So there.) I have read more, started to work on some audition pieces and the shows for this summer. I've spent more face to face time with my husband instead of running off to fb land every time the conversation lulls at home or in the car. I feel less like I'm multitasking my life and that my attention span is slowly (or quickly) dying. There is a sort of peace to this facebookless life.
I recently took a trip back to Chicago and met up with my best friend, Rebecca, to reconnect with family and friends. It was an insane week of face to face contact but also SO GREAT to actually see these people I'd only been following on the world wide web. One of these friends I had not seen in FIVE years. Though I'd witnessed how her life had changed online, her marriage and the birth of her 16 month old son, it was brilliant to just SEE her for 45 minutes and catch up one on one without a keyboard in between us.
On the trip, Rebecca and I talked some about the age of smartphones and social networks. She says that no one is bored anymore and that's not a good thing. It's actually not good for your brain to not experience boredom. You don't get to process anything because you are constantly distracting yourself with something. And though I detailed the Chicago trip on my page to some extent, I wasn't on all the time. Like...well, like normal.
Now, I'm not convinced to let go of it all together. I still like Facebook. I really do. Maybe this is an unexpected lesson about not using the site to lift up my self-esteem. That what I choose to post is what I choose to post and who cares who "approves". Pretty basic adult stuff. That said, I really do appreciate why people delete their accounts or still don't have one. It really can be a time suck and a way to (godhelpus) not be bored. But overall, I think fb and I get along really well.
I'm not sure when I'll be back, probably pretty soon and probably briefly to post this blog link--I mean, seriously, who am I to assume anyone reads my ramblings. But perhaps I'll feel better about taking more breaks in the future. Maybe I'll even call it a vacation. Or maybe even finding my boredom again.
See you soon, gentle readers.
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