Comedy Tonight: Or, how to build a house, put on a musical and shape young canine minds in a single bound

To say the last three weeks have been eventful would be a raging understatement. In a few short weeks, I have rehearsed and opened the first musical I've been in in over ten years, mostly finished the outside of the house and added a year old pup/dog named Dorky to the Mann family. (The Mannmily?)

But first thing's first: Holyfuckingshittheoutsideofthehouseislikeumdone! Pretty much. We still have some painting and trim to complete as well as shingling the top of the porch, painting it, etc. But the huge stuff is done. The cedar siding, the caulking, the priming, the painting, the porch concrete and construction is DONE. And yesterday, insurance supposedly stopped by to take photos and hopefully did not run away screaming in horror--which is what they would have done a year, or even a month, ago. It's been three weeks of RJ and me spending every free hour of daylight putting this place together. All I hear in my head is that kid's voice after an X-Files episode saying, "I made this!"

I have made many kinds of pies, I have made art and I have made theatre, but I have never made a house. My house. And even though the battle is only about a third of the way done, a huge phase is complete. Made possible by my husband, self, and many friends who gave an hour/day to us--painting, putting up siding, or just cleaning up. What can you say to that? How can you adequately thank someone? Yes, yes, beer is always good, but it's just a darn nice thing to do. So, to all our amazing and helpful friends: Thank YOU!

Beginnings of a porch

Side View

The West Side. Formerly Known As: The Ugly Side

What is left to do on this dear old house of ours you may ask? Well, a lot. We are still waiting to hear from the bank appraiser about when they can come and check it out. Once they do, they will appraise what the property will be worth once it is totally complete. That will determine what the interest rate will be on either a refinance with a construction loan or an equity line of credit. Both would serve the same purpose--getting the house liveable by the fall. We still need plumbing and electric. We need to tear off the very back of the house, which is pretty much all that remains of the previous tenant's sty of filth. RJ will then build the framework for a slightly larger addition that will eventually contain a mud/laundry room, downstairs second bedroom and upstairs third bedroom/man cave. Once the framework is in place we can put in plumbing, since it will be easier to do that all at once even if it takes a while for the addition to be completed. Electric, walls, flooring, appliance installation, wall paper/paint, furniture, etc. I'm sure I'm forgetting something but it's a hell of a lot.

And somewhat daunting. But FINALLY when you look at this house, it looks like it's loved. It no longer looks like an ill person neglected it or forgot about it. The brilliant thing about the insurance agent coming to take photos is that they don't go inside. They take photos of the outside. You don't even need you to be home. So there is something to be said for good curb appeal. We have been told by a banker friend that this can even help your appraisal. It just gives non-builders a better idea of what things will look like. It's helping the imagination along. And you know what...even to a builder or, like, me, it helps to create a picture of what things can and will be. As Peter Gibbons says at the end of the movie, Office Space, "Fuckin' A."

As it stands now

But on to the dog! We now have a year old Australian Shepard, possible Border Collie mix named Dorky. Dorky came to us from a friend of RJ who loves dogs, but is newly single and a chef. Therefore he was easily gone for up to 12 hours a day. That--combined with a working dog's need for stimuli, running and companionship--is a recipe for bad puppy behavior. The good news: Dorky is well trained, house broken and sweet as hell. The not as good news: He is a puppy and gets you up early in the morning full of energy for, well, stuff. He also chews on things he should not be chewing on. RJ and I had been talking for a while about getting a new puppy. It's been almost two years since Candy died and Buford is quite old for a Mastiff and showing it. We had hoped to get a new pup shortly after moving into the new house. But, as most dog and cat rescuers know, these animals tend to choose you, whether you are ready for them or not. I have never had a puppy and I am proud to say that I like it. Buford is, as RJ says, his own dog. Meaning that though he likes human companionship, he isn't necessarily super interactive. We got him halfway through his life, he doesn't play much and isn't terribly active (typical Mastiff). Dorky aims to please. His connection to us is real and palpable. He needs us and has already bonded to us very quickly. I've never had that.

And speaking of new things, there is that musical I'm a chorus member in: A Funny Thing Happened On The Way To The Forum. All I will say about it is that it's a silly skit--full of vaudeville, commedia stereotypes, dumb women and manly men. And it is more fun on stage than I've had in years.

The Dork